Between you and me I’m really frustrated. Really. Frustrated. Since we’ve got back, other than tidying up the garden, which included re-laying the patio and this time putting in some sand and cement in the cracks to stop the rampant bird seed from taking hold and looking like a field of scattered corn, I have been working on On The Backfoot To Hell – ready for publication on … as promised … 1 August.
Rosemary, my proofreader, has done a fab job and incorporating her comments actually didn’t take that long. And preparing a Kindle e-book is relatively straightforward, especially as I had already made up the front cover. The paperback, via CreateSpace (another Amazon company), on the other hand, is much more of a beast. First the inside has to be set to a new page size (paperback size – not needed for Kindle), and the margins (thicker towards the spine that the outside) reset. The size of font is changed (if you own a kindle you’ll know that you can change your own font size if you are old and blind), and the subtitles reworked so that they don’t start at the bottom of a page – which would look silly. And page numbering. Well, that’s a so-and-so. Page 1 is the first page of the Prologue, but the previous introductory pages are in Roman numbers … which is tricky in a single document.
But, I managed that. That was relatively easy.
The problem is the wrap-round cover. Kindle requires just a front cover and I use Canva to design that. To get the wrap-round cover right you either have to use one of the Amazon templates … which doesn’t work if you want your book to look half professional, or you design your own using measurements provided by Amazon, including spine-width etc, and then upload a single image. I have done it before, so I was ready for the test. Well, 24-hours later and I am no closer to uploading a workable cover. And I have no idea why. It’s a mystery which is … frustrating the hell out of me.
Never mind. At least the politics is going well. At least His Orangeness is not looking like a child-molester, nor does he think the way to win the war in Afghanistan is to kill 10 million Afghanis. Nor is he childishly telling some black and brown congresswomen to go back to their own countries. And things are equally good here. Boris, who is a very steady and inspirational pair of hands is not looking to crash out of Europe by proroguing Parliament and then putting all of our livelihoods at risk. And he’s not doing that to save the Conservative Party, because that would be a huge dereliction of duty for a Prime Minister who is meant to represent the whole country including you and me, not just his dangerously tilting to the right political party. And at least he’s not saying and doing silly things like holding up a kipper and blaming the EU for making us courier them in ice, thus putting some fishermen out of business, when it’s not actually EU policy, but a rule we seem to have introduced ourselves for smoked fish. And thankfully he’s still married to least one of his wives and knows how many children he has … and even if he wasn’t/didn’t, at least we’re not thinking he might be a rubbish PM because he was, by all accounts, a ‘by-the-seat-of-his-pants’ and ‘don’t worry about the detail’ Foreign Secretary. Phew
So it’s all good. I might be frustrated with my publishing malarkey, but I‘m not in any way frustrated by the state of global politics. Not at all.