We’re going to Hell in a handcart

OK, so use your imagination. I’m a 13 year-old girl and my name is Dottie. Me and my 6 friends have all got together in Justina’s bedroom to make ourselves up for the ‘party’. Me and Justina have a love-hate relationship, but I’m tougher than she is, so I get my own way. Just recently, after I said that she has to give me half of her pocket money, she said that my bum looks big in the tight pants I wear. I (just about) forgave her for that, especially as she’s now giving me her pocket money. Anyhow, we all agreed what we’re going to wear, we all put on too much makeup and we all look pretty fabulous, although I look bigly fabulous than everyone else – because I say so. And we are all soooo looking forward to the party. But, and it’s a bigly but, on the way out of the door Justina reminds me that my bum looks big in my tight pants. AND THAT’S NOT NICE.

Justina is weak and feeble, and I hate her.

So, poo to them, they can go to the party by themselves, which will spoil it for all of them as my Dad was going to drive us there in his expensive Cadillac. To be spiteful I post my feelings on Facebook so everyone knows: I really hate Justina.  Then, apparently, Marcie posted that we all ought to act more like grownups and stop having temper tantrums, and keep our teddies in our cots. Well, I hope she gets spots. She always smells of frogs.

Did you also hear that Donald reckons he will know within a minute whether or not Kim Jon Un will denuclearise? Apparently he has a touch, so he tells us. ‘It’s like knowing within a a few minutes if you going to be good friends with someone. You’ve heard that. right? Within a couple of minutes?’

Noting that he’s sacked many of the (‘good’) people he’s hired, and The White House is ‘an awful place to work’, according to Chief of Staff, Kelly, I’m not convinced I trust Donald’s judgement on whether or not he’s going to be good friends with someone – or not. Certainly within minutes. Never mind, he’s off in Singapore now and will doubtless spin whatever outcome that comes from the summit – which, by the way, links together the Leader of the Free World (sorry, is that Merkel?) and a tyrant who has murdered countless thousands of dissidents and incarcerated many more, and runs his state like an Orwellian dystopia. I’d make that one-love to the North Korean, whatever the outcome. Apparently human rights is not on the table for this summit. If it were me, I’d have made it a prerequisite of any meet.

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new patio, yippee!

Whatever. We’ve had a good weekend so far, after, for me, what has been a very manageable week at work (6 weeks to go!). We haven’t stopped working on the garden, which less grass seed, is now fit for purpose. I even did some concreting to create a step by the back gate. C and I have just had a beer out there on our new (two-person) patio, and are v pleased with ourselves. Especially as the total cost was around £100 plus about 30 wheelbarrow loads of top soil to the local tipping place. C has expertly made the sitting room curtains – they look fab. Next (by the end of next weekend) is our bedroom, less the new carpet. That should then see us through the summer.

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the Spanish foursome were great, it went downhill from there

We did take late yesterday afternoon off to wander down to the Bradley Stoke carnival (with no floats). BS is a lovely town – it really suits us, and the carnival proved that point. There is a huge town green which was full of stands and a music arena, where bands played from an open artic truck. We got there for a Spanish foursome (two guitars and a pair of bongos) who were fab. We decided to pop home and get the bikes. We came back for the final two acts, which were a Bonnie Tyleresque band, where the female lead would have got a big red cross from Simon Cowell after just 15 seconds – but we grew to like her. The final act was a Scottish rock band…except, and I said to C, ‘If there’s a bagpipe, I’m leaving’, there were two bagpipes – plus a rock band (no singer). For me it was painful, so we left before the end of the set. However, with Mrs Sun in attendance it was a great afternoon.

My proofreader, Rosemary, tells me For Good Men To Do Nothing is fab (‘the best yet’) and will be back with me by Wednesday. Can’t wait. I hope to have it all sorted by the time the public schools head off on holiday – the end of the first week in July. Hopefully.

So, all’s good here. There has been a real kerfuffle with M&D which we have sorted from a distance. They now have professional carers going in twice a day – and Mum (Dad is completely out of it) seems much happier. We are prepared to go and see them next weekend, if necessary. If not we will see them in a couple oi weeks time – as planned.

Hoping you had a great weekend…

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